I was going to compose this weeks ago, but our ancient computer wouldn’t cooperate, I feared typing the wrong thing or needed God’s guidance. I was encouraged when I read this blog post by Rachel (TheRandomwritings) on how she stepped out in faith and never looked back. She inspired me more to think of the times when God has been faithful. Anyway, I wanted to share about God’s faithfulness in my life.
As soon as I graduated with my master’s degree in early childhood special education I immediately landed my first career job as a preschool special needs teacher, then I met my husband, we got engaged 3 months after meeting, married 8 months after that and were set to trying to get pregnant a year after that. In the process, we found out a certain family member (keeping confidential) had a little girl in foster care that (they) had only just found out was their child. Right away my hubby and I were hounded with questions from social workers, family members and other therapists if we wanted to pursue foster parenting her/ custody. Forever, I kept telling my hubby that maybe we would consider taking her but then…I got pregnant!
Right away I told God- NO Way! I remember showering one night and talking with God and telling Him I didn’t want to pursue foster parenting. No we cannot have a baby and a niece to raise. (this was when I was 6 weeks pregnant). I told my hubby and God NO, not two or three days later I had a miscarriage. I was devastated, and so was my hubby and everyone around us. I miscarried at 6 weeks 5 days. I won’t go into awful details but it was nice to have family for comfort as we grieved. In the process God reminded me of our niece and when I prayed about it I felt God’s peace and the support of others in the decision to begin foster parenting classes, paperwork, background checks and more to finally foster parent the little munchkin you see here on this blog-Nevaeh.
In memory of Terry- miscarried July 5, 2011.
You may be wondering why I have referred to Nevaeh as ours on this blog, and she is. She is family regardless if she is our true daughter or not. Anyway in faith we took her in our home, knowing that we would have to learn to be parents quick, deal with her emotional scars or tears and keep her in line with knowing who Christ was as well and make her feel secure and loved. Because of our step of faith and taking her in I became pregnant again. Right away let me tell ya.
(32 weeks pregnant with Xander)
This time the pregnancy was healthy- but I wasn’t. Yes, I walked a lot and played Frisbee golf with my hubby and we even hiked small trails while pregnant. So physically I was fine, but emotionally not. I had lost my teaching job. I had feelings of embarrassment, devastation, anger and depression. But God was still faithful and he allowed us to carry the pregnancy to 35 weeks- and then Xander was born.
I had it hard dealing with Nevaeh and her fits and anger while carrying for a fussy newborn. I used to wonder why God had done what he did. Why did I loose my job? why did I loose our baby Terry? How were we going to pay for the endless amount of hospital bills coming everyday? (I had an emergency C-section). Why couldn’t I handle and love Nevaeh during her fits? Why did Xander have to come early? I knew all was a BIG LIFE change and transition, but little did I know that it was a part of God’s plan.
I got unemployment, my hubby started his own construction business, we had little to no income consistency but God still provided. We held yard sales to pay big bills, we paid our medical bills off somehow and we began receiving WIC services due to pure accident when we tried to get Nevaeh back on it. We had to buy cloth diapers, and live off of cheap meals. We were poor. Yes poor. I worked in a school system where I detested poverty and people living off of governmental services but here we were doing what I hated and I hated myself for it. To this day I don’t know how we made it! and we made it without debt behind us or in front of us. God completely took care of us, our money and bills. God was faithful.
In my state of mind of “we are poor” we got pregnant again. Right away I did what any pregnant lady with no income would do and went from private insurance to Medicaid. Long story short, we found out we were pregnant with twins, we got Medicaid and right away knew God was in control. God was in control because I was in and out of the hospital during the pregnancy with hypertension issues. I was ultra-sounded twice a week during most of the pregnancy and hooked up to other machinery and given shots to protect the babies lungs in case they were born pre-term. The OBG’s were worried for Elizabeth’s growth the entire pregnancy (and so were we). But God was faithful and allowed me to carry the twins to 37 weeks on the scheduled C-section date. There was no complications for the twins or myself and both were healthy. I was grateful God gave us Medicaid or we would have died with hospital bills going with us to our grave. God was faithful.
(32 weeks pregnant with the twins during their baby shower).
Shortly afterwards my hubby got a full-time job (with benefits) and worked a side job as well. We ere given the right job at the right time. God knew what we needed and was faithful. My hubby still has his full-time job and has grown in the Lord through it, he has applied for a promotion that he hopes to receive (Lord willing) and we feel secure this is where God has us. God is faithful!
God taught me a lot of important lessons through this journey. Because you see, while I was teaching I was prideful, boastful and uncaring. My hubby and I had the money to do whatever we wanted, and I had no tolerance for the poor or those hurting financially. In the process of losing my job, God humbled me and showed me my errors. He showed me that HE alone could take care of me. He reminded me that “yes” I was miserable where I was working but that being a stay-at-home mom was a part of His plan as well. He held me and carried me when I didn’t think I could make it. He fed us when I felt hungry. He made a way where we didn’t hurt financially like I felt we should have. God was faithful. He gave me a beautiful family and life and I couldn’t ask for more.
Let me know what you think?