This post originally contained a lot of TMI (too much information) about my past with teaching (I was a special education preschool teacher to two and three year olds), but after letting this post sit in my drafts for a few days I felt I needed to change things and just leave out details. Do you ever do that?
With the past being in the past it is still hard not to revisit the horrible feelings I faced towards the final years of teaching full time. I had great moments, and bad. I worked under some hard administration, the pressures of goals and deadlines, and with some challenging students. Don’t get me wrong I loved some days and the students, and other days I didn’t. To this day I wish I could have done some things different. Right now I am stuck with wondering if I ever will teach full time again one day, and fear grips me. My own lack of self-confidence in my abilities as a teacher kicks in. Will I make the same mistakes? Will I make a difference? Is this what I am suppose to do?
Sunday night, I met with my best friend of 15 years for coffee and just mentioned teaching and the unknowns, when she asked me this compelling question “Do you feel like teaching was what you were called to do? Yes you went to college for it and taught a few years, but is it your calling?” I was dumbfounded. Instead of coming up with excuses why it is or should have been I just answered “well it was a dream of mine all my life, along with being a mom and writer” Her response was “You are so creative! I love seeing your DIY jewelry boards, and blog posts, that could it be that could be a calling in itself. I want to help you get started if you feel it is (to set up ebay, etsy shop and a facebook page). I was so humbled by her question and response to her help that I just didn’t know what to think. All of that sounds like a dream, but is it my calling or just another phase of life, who knows, but it is a start to finding out.
I am encouraged by Jeremiah 29:11- “For I know the plans I have for you ,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (NIV)
These words are a promise. I know God will show or speak to me when it is time for what He has called for me next but until then I can pray, seek him, and just trust in what He has for me. I know teaching is a stable income, and I also know that writing and creating things is a passion. But what am I to do with these in the future. If you could help me pray for these unknowns that would be a tremendous blessing.
Thank you for your support and prayers.
Outfit details- Shirt: dxmall.com//Pants: DKNY jeans (old, TJ MAXX)//Flats: Merona (Target, old)//Purse: Merona (Target, old)//Necklace: Lia Sophia (gift).
Linking up with: