A few days ago I was outside with Xander (my 2 year old) and on my iphone reading and commenting on a blogger who just had a baby, and while congratulating her I looked over at my own baby who sat in the grass twittling with some grass and acorns. In that moment it was like God was telling me “Show me mommy, tell me about what I see mommy.” I put down the phone and went over to my little boy and talked with him about the grass and rocks and acorns but by this point he was disinterested, so I walked behind him and commented on the things he was seeing.
Then last night as the others went to bed I began getting frustrated with Xander as in my mind I thought he should be in bed (and I was hungry), I was stern with him, raising my arrrrgggh voice and finally put a dvd on for him so I could eat and reflect on my attitude for a moment. While I was frustrated with him he was trying to talk to me, but his speech is unclear sometimes. I turned the dvd off after I had a chance to eat and finally sat down with him on my lap and he and I shared some cereal, giggled and I repeated what he was talking about or tried to make sense of his words and phrases. When he finally went to bed I did my chores and went to bed myself, and somehow I just felt emotional and awful. A few tears followed and prayer (much needed).
I have been so hard on myself this week. I have taken the view of feeling like a bad mom, and friend. Some of the things I have messed up on as a parent have been eating away at my soul instead of giving these cares to God. So wow! God not only reminded me to “show me and tell me” with my son but he does the same or requires the same of me. I need to put away the iphone, my cares and just talk with him as he does me if I would only listen and make time for him.
God gives me grace if only I would allow myself grace. God forgives if I can only forgive myself. God does not worry if I would stop worrying. My point is mommies out there, take the time and just bask in the truths and presence of God. His word and life is an example we should follow to the best of our abilities. We may mess up or frustrate him, but isn’t it awesome that he still would follow with us, hold us in His mighty arms. He is good!